Splendid Similes 5

As Cunning as a Fox That Used to Be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but Has Moved On and Is Now Working for the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning

I love Blackadder so much! Gosh I hope I made the capitalisation right... Actually, in order to write this article I've seen the Blackadder Back & Forth in English for the first time - I'm glad that both Blackadder (the original series) and this one have such great Czech dubbing. Blackadder is swarming with great, hilarious and incredibly long similes, and these three are taken from the Back & Forth movie.

1. It tastes as if someone with a bad chest cold has taken two spoonfuls of Benylin to loosen the phlegm and then coughed all over an avocado (Chutná to jako kdyby chcípák s nachcípanými průduškami spolkl dvě lžíce Bromhexinu, a pak vykašlal navrch celé avokádo)

- I'm so proud that I still remember it by heart :)

2. (Baldrick, you really are) as thick as clotted cream that’s been left out by some clot until the clots are so clotted up we couldn’t unclot them with an electric declotter (ty jsi vážně namouduši tuplovaně tupej tupec, tupější než votupená kudla, kterou ztupil tupec jako ty, takže už ji nenabrousí ani elektrický detupilátor)

- I really love how they translated it :)

3. As cunning as a fox what used to be professor of cunning at oxford university but has moved on and he’s now working for the UN at the high commission of international cunning planning  (Je tak fikanej jako filuta co bejval profesorem filutologie na Oxfordu ale dotáh' to vejš? Až na vysoký úřad komisaře OSN pro mezinárodní fikané plánování? ... jo, to je)

- Hmmm. That's cunning. 

So, what's your favourite Blackadder line/ simile? :)